Surface Ripples

So, Where Are You From?

This is a question we get and hear regularly.  Assuming we don’t interpret it as a politically incorrect, racist, anti DEI statement, how do we respond?

People might say they’re from… and the name of the city or country.  Others, like me find it more difficult.  

I was born in Asia as were my parents. 

I was educated in Pakistan, the USA and the UK.  I’ve worked in eight different countries in the world from the Far East to the Caribbean.

My mother lives in the South of England.  One of my siblings lives west of London, the other in France.

I’ve now lived in Brunei for the past 12 years and am married to a Brunei citizen.

I carry a British passport…

So how do I answer? “Where are you from?”.  I don’t consider this an invasive or offensive question.  It makes me think. Where am I “from”?  Am I “from” the part of the world in which I was born, educated, live now or whose passport I carry? 

How do children of mixed marriages or “third culture kids” answer?  How do I myself identify?

Boundaries are blurring.  Mixed marriages are completely normal (although when I was a young child, they were still very much a novelty).  Some societies turn in on themselves; others are outward looking and embrace the changes that this brings.

So back to “Where are you from?”.  The short answer is “you tell me!”.  I’ve loved living, being educated in, and working in every country whose shores I’ve touched.  I’m British by nationality and loyal to the crown but also support where I live and work now.

I have multiple “identities”. 

I love the diversity that we can now find in this world, where in the Far East I can encounter someone of Indian origin who speaks with the strongest Birmingham accent.  Labelling people by “where are you from?” Is becoming an increasingly complex process.

Perhaps some of the social problems we face in the world are because people can’t identify “where they’re from”.  They feel they have no identity or place in the societies in which they find themselves. These may be the children of immigrants to a country, refugees, or anyone who finds themselves in an environment radically different to that which their parents and grandparents may have known.  The sense of displacement and “not being one of us” can have the most significant impact on the psyche of these people.

Similarly, some people clearly have difficulty in “identifying” others if they can’t put them in a “pidgeon hole”. 

Why will I ask someone where they’re from?  It’s because I find it fascinating to be in a third country and meet someone who is clearly not from that country either.  What’s their story?  What did they go through to get there?  What does that make them as a person?  What might they have experienced? Life can we the most fascinating tapestries and yet we still at times insist on using the same-coloured thread.

Why not change the thread?

I’ve spent more than half my life delivering change in different world markets from the most developed to “emerging” economies. With a wealth of international experience in international financial services around the world running different operations and lending businesses, I started my own Consultancy to provide solutions for improving performance, productivity and risk management.  I work with individuals, small businesses, charities, quoted companies and academic institutions across the world. An international speaker, trainer, author and fund-raiser, I can be contacted by email. 

Labels: Customer Care, Social

posted by William Martin @ 11:11