A Person Who Feels Appreciated Will Always Do More Than Is Expected
We all like to feel appreciated
- it’s one of the basic needs that Abraham Maslow identified in his “Hierarchy
of Needs”. This is more difficult than
it seems as often, corporate life militates against this.
Maslow identified the five basic human needs (biological and
physiological, safety, belonging and love, esteem, self-actualisation).
Interestingly, “belonging and love” are third - right in the middle before progressing on to esteem and
self-actualisation. In other words, you
won’t get that “extra” out of people if the appreciation is missing and they
will simply do the minimum needed to “get by” as long as their basic needs of
being paid are met. One result is that this spills over into
customer service.
I’ve watched a number of clients in their day-to-day
dealings with staff and realised just how often we miss opportunities (myself included)
to show appreciation. It’s not until you
do this that you see where you can improve.
I’m not advocating that we should be praising people to the skies just
for turning up on time, but there are a number of ways that we can show
appreciation that can be used any time, anywhere at no cost.
We also need to remember that different people see appreciation
in different ways. Gary Chapman in his
book defined five “Languages of Love”:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
We all have one or two languages that work better on us, and
the skill lies in working out what works in each case. Remember, all can be interpreted in a wide
variety of ways: “physical touch” need not be a full-body hug, but just a
simple handshake or pat on the back.
Words of affirmation might be a simple “Nice to see you” or praise in
the company newsletter. I observed one
manager who clearly disliked one of his direct reports. Every day when he arrived, he would say “Good
morning” to that report’s deputy, but never to the report. This was unprofessional and rude, and
everyone saw it.
Just because one person’s love language is “words of
affirmation” doesn't mean that they won't respond to others, it just means that
affirmations work well on them. Most of us like receiving gifts (particularly
unexpected, well-chosen ones) and “acts of service” could be just offering to help a colleague carry
something or opening a door for them if their arms are full.
Equally, introverts may not respond well to you trying to
spend “quality time” with them unless they need to see you about something
important. Others may not be comfortable with too much
back-patting or what they perceive as too-close contact.
There are any number of small ways which, when added up,
show that you appreciate your family, friends, colleagues and staff. What do you think would work for you and them?
Labels: Career, Customer Care, Leadership, Teamwork
posted by William Martin @ 09:42
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